Buffet? More like buffYAY!

I love Chinese food. Let me rephrase that… I love American Chinese food. I like the authentic stuff as well, but we’ll get to that later.

Where I’m from, most of the Chinese places are the same. The menus really don’t differ much from one another, but everyone has their favorites. Chinese buffets aren’t much different. Same food, same quality, just with an endless option.

The few places in town that aren’t a copycat of the rest are a little higher dollar than your average place, but the food is exquisite. I’ve ordered the same dish, every single time, for 30 years. Consistency is key.

A lot of people snub their noses at any sort of buffet, but where else can you feed yourself to the point of regret for $12.99+tax?! You can barely eat fast food for less than that, and the quality is no different.

That being said, I have witnessed a small child duck under the stanchions and stick his entire face into the chocolate fondue fountain. His. Whole. Face.

I couldn’t even be mad at the little crumb snatcher. The thing is, I was actually jealous of him. I dream of such debauchery. He’s out here living his best life with reckless abandon and with no regard for his fellow man. I tip my hat to that young fella.

Not every meal needs to be a gourmet endeavor that involves hours prepping and creating the perfect meal. Nor does it need to cost a lot. If you’re a parent, you’ve likely spent many hours cooking a nice dinner for your family, just to have your precious tax deductions refuse to eat what you prepared.

Dinnertime is always a struggle. We have a vegetarian, a kid that doesn’t eat enough and one that eats too much. Nothing can be spicy or have too much dairy, or be any protein other than chicken. Refusals to eat steak, pork, ham, pizza, mac n cheese, all fish except salmon, mashed potatoes, most vegetables, and basically all beef except for burgers.

I’m not a short order cook and this isn’t a restaurant. Dietary restrictions aside, if it’s put in front of you, that’s what you’re eating.

If anyone has a better suggestion than a buffet, I’m all ears. Everyone gets what they want, I stuff my cargo pockets with egg rolls, and we all leave full and happy.

I get it, having everyone serve themselves may seem a little icky. Meh…It’s good for our immune systems. You’ll live. Probably.

Much Love,


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